Nicole vs. Life
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
