Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
