I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
