You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
