There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
