and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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