and next time when you feel me up, do it right
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
