FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Im part way to drunk.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
