smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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