i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
