Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
