Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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