I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
