no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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