I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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