if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize