waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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