omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
