Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
