I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
