So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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