I didn't shave. On purpose
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
