I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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