it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
