but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize