my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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