I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
