Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
