I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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