its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
