we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
