I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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