We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
