How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
