it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
