I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
