That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A bitchslap is in order.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
