Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
