yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
As shirtless as possible
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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