ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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