If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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