taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
