It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
