ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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