Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
