I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize