is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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