I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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