I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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