she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
