Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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