mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
