Can Purell be used as lube?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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