uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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