It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
