Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
