Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize