come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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