She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize