we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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