She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
