The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
