I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
