absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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