If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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