you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Your cock deserves a montage
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
